I Don’t Have the Skillset to be a Great Mother! Yes you do, read on.
Becoming a mother is the biggest challenge, transformation and soul enhancing event in a woman’s life. The day you birth your baby you will also birth a mother. The woman before is not lost- she has just become more. With this comes so many new and unusual thoughts and feelings! So, to mother your baby from the unique authentic version of yourself, you first need to embrace yourself with all these new thoughts and feelings. Without becoming overwhelmed by them. In my role as a motherhood mentor I hear ‘I am not a good enough mother’ - yes, even from myself!
First of all, STOP! You are good enough! No more negative self-talk! Turn it around and say ‘I am the perfect mummy for my baby’
Believe it because you really are.
Now I know babies don't come with a manual and this is one of the reasons motherhood is a challenge. However, I have good news for you! You already have a great skill set to utilise in your new role as a mother! And yes, dads included too! The skills that are required to be successful in business, the corporate world and as an entrepreneur are transferable to be a great and inspirational mum.
Here are my list of top five transferable skills between your personal and professional lives:
Surprising? Or the skills you expected to need?
Let’s take a look at them in more detail.
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” by Alvin Toffler is one of my favourite quotes.
Applying this to your role of being mum will help with the rapidly ever changing needs, skills and abilities your baby develops in the first two years of life. And think about it, this is the exact skill you have used so many times in your professional career.
Our world, even more so during this pandemic, has become hyper connected. You once worked as an individual. You now work as part of divers and culturally different teams.
Working in collaboration with your baby as a team that is in the early stages of bonding and understanding each other is what you should be aiming for. This will help with the feeling of being out of control that happens when you expect or attempt to fit the baby into a routine or role that the baby isn’t aware of.
Demonstrating to your baby that they are seen and heard helps with them feel secure and safe.
In your high-flying successful life before baby you would have practiced understanding your clients and colleagues' perspectives, through empathising with their reactions and emotions. Transferring this skill to your interactions with the baby helps to keep your stress levels down.
This is easier said than done when the baby is crying for what feels like the hundredth time in an hour. Try it though; instead of questioning yourself on what baby needs try tuning in and using your empathy. Remember, sometimes the baby just wants you and your attention.
You will have had to use strong communications skills within your pre-baby successful life. You will have had to read and understand people, respond effectively and promptly.
Babies are expert communicators, we just have to learn how to listen, read cues and react. This you will have done without conscious thought in your corporate world. Bring these skills to your role as a mum and be a successful communicator as mum.
What makes a good leader? A good leader is one who leads from the front; a coach who can empower and motivate.
Can you transfer these to successful motherhood? Of course you can! Even in the early days you can empower your baby through your voice, your arms and your bond.
Do you have the skill set to be a great parent? The answer is YES you do!
Motherhood, and in fact, parenthood is a journey, just like building your high-flying success was. Don’t expect to be perfect. Parent through participation, not perfection- and you will take so much pressure off yourself. Your baby already thinks that you are perfect. To be the best version of mum that you can you need to find your authentic identity as a mum and not what is perceived to be perfect. Utilise these five top transferable skills, be you, be a great mum.
This week I want to leave you knowing that overwhelm and mum guilt are all a part of being a mum. Use your resilience to overcome them. Accept these feelings, turn them around by being kind and gentle to yourself in your inner dialogue, and confide in your mum tribe because they will have or will be there too. I have touched on five of the skills that are transferable from your role before baby. Use these skills to make motherhood easier and aligned with yourself; spend time this week thinking what other skills you can transfer into your role as mother. Lastly, you are the perfect mummy for your baby!
This article is a part of a series by Nixie Foster.
Nixie Foster - The Motherhood Mentor to high–flying female entrepreneurs and career women. The founder of ‘High-Flyer to Authentic Motherhood in 13 Steps’; a mentorship program to assist you in finding your natural identity as a mother and give new mothers the secure, loving bond with their baby which allows them to confidently be their unique version of motherhood.
Check out my website www.nixiefoster.com
All opinions published in this article are the author’s own.